AUSTRALIAN BRICKLAYER'S ACCIDENT REPORT

[Tigz™]

Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australias equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board.

This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.......

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in

Block 3 of the accident report form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause

of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the

following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working

alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work,

I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were

found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs.

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a

barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building

on the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out

and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope,

holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note

in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my

surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence

of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded

at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now

proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the

fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed

in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I

continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right

hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able

to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the

ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.

Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed

approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the

building.In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.

This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several

lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel

seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile

of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in

pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and

let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its

journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.

Kevin Roben

Wagga Glass & Aluminium Pty Ltd

PO Box 5004 ( 11 Dobney Ave )

Wagga Wagga NSW 2650

[Lukus 9N]

Hahaha, what an absolute muppet! That's comic genius.

[bossjohnc]

A goodie, but very very old - I think it originated in the UK and was a sketch for a radio program, possibly from around the time TV was a new toy.

[Clairey Fairy]

I bet that stung a little bit!!

[2001gti]

lmfao

[NOCK]

LMFAO that CAN'T be true!?!?!?!?!?

NOCK

[heartagram]

bwahahahahahaha.

[kenzie]

That's the funniest thing I've read in a long time

[nfbr]

Some people are just born to write !

[electricpanda]

If thats true thats amazin!

[one litre wonder ;)]

the tv program mythbusters tested this as a myth and i cant remember if they said that the idea was likely to happen or not as the only version i can see on youtube is in a different language . however it looks like you need to crack the bottom of the barrel off of something in order to make it split

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Ry0prEzc-bU

[LiamD]

www.darwinawards.com