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JOKE OF THE DAY


gilybob
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If we're doing jade goody jokes

I went to the video store the other day and fancied that new slumdog millionaire.

Got it home and it was jade goodys funeral video, I took it straight back and said "whats this? I asked for slumdog millionaire"

"sorry mate, I though you asked for some dog with no hair"

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When your boyfriend, husband or significant other does something that makes you angry don't give in to the temptation to argue and fight.

Just count to ten, remain calm and after he goes to bed, super-glue his flip flops

To the floor.

I could watch this one over and over…. OH wait a minute…I have!!!

image00111.gif

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Its been confirmed that Jade Goody will be being cremated at her funeral and her ashes split equally among the guests so they can all take home a Goody Bag.

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Its been confirmed that Jade Goody will be being cremated at her funeral and her ashes split equally among the guests so they can all take home a Goody Bag.

thats just 2 much shld be ashamed of yrself lol...

hahaha

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A couple driving home and run over a badger,

They get out and its still breathing but freezing cold.

He says "Put it between your legs to warm it up",

She says "but its all wet and it stinks",

He says "well hold the badgers nose then!"

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A couple driving home and run over a badger,

They get out and its still breathing but freezing cold.

He says "Put it between your legs to warm it up",

She says "but its all wet and it stinks",

He says "well hold the badgers nose then!"

That one is a literal LOL

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this is on another thread i thought id put it in its appropiate place lol...

is there a way to make my car quicker even a little bit without having to buy anything as its not that quick and im sure it cud be quick if it wanted to

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woman goes to doctors and says 'everytime i open my legs i hear the song you'll never walk alone' doctor says dont worry u hear alot of c*nts singing that

C**t...

:lol:

Sorry Rich but your slagging off my team!!

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^ 18 FACT ;)

Sally and Sarah,

Two whores on a street corner discussing the night.

Sally says

" Oh its going to be a good night tonight i can smell COCK in the air"

Sarah replies

" Sorry ive just burped!!"

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A son asks his Dad the difference between "theoretically" and "realistically. Dad says thats hard, but i have an idea. Ask mum if she would sleep with the milkman for 1million quid. Mum says yes. Dad says now ask your sister if she'll sleep with the newspaper man for 2 million quid. Sister says yes. Well there you go son, theoretically we're sitting on 3million quid, but realistically we're living with 2 slags!

Theres a couple in an old peoples home, bob and brenda. Brenda is shocked to find out that bob is sleeping in Margret's bed at night and so she ask's why.

Brenda says "bob why are you sleeping in Margret's bed?"

Bob replys "well Margret holds my willy all night long."

Brenda replys " well so do i!"

Bob replys " yeah but Margret's got Parkinson's disease."

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