Igor

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy. "Are you the landlord?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no" he replies. "Can you get him for me - I need to speak to him?" she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair. "Im afraid I cant" breathes the barman - clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?" "Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "Tell him that there is no loo paper in the ladies."

You were lucky, there's a Polish chap were I work who drives around in a renault clio with no brake pads!! The other day, there was a clang and 2 pads, worn down to bare metal, fell out of his front r calipers, and he drove around nottingham for 5 days without replacing them!!! style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":wtf:" border="0" alt="wtf.gif" />

As I have just splashed out on Canon EOS 5D+ 24-70mm L + 70-200mm IS F2.8 +speedlite 580ex, I'm looking to sell my EOS Rebel/300D, Comes with 18-55mm EF-S + 28-105mm usm, uv filters circular polariser, case,2X 128+ 1X 256mb cf cards, has had firmware update which enables ALL the custom fuctions that are disabled on standard 300/350D, ie ISO expansion, mirror lockup etc.... charger, software , manuals etc, looking for £350 ovno, here's a sample image: border="0" class="linked-image" /> border="0" alt="" />, pm me for more details...

There's no electronic device that can't be hacked, there'll be hacks available online as soon as the boxes are released, and I personally feel that Orwell's Big brother is but a parliamentary bill/vote away.... I wonder why We as a nation put up with being constantly taxed and spied upon directly or indirectly, and why was the last serious attempt at a workers uprising was Watt Tyler????

I'm Soooo looking forward to my Cupra.... style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" /> Then I can sell the Stilo....(WTF was I thinking/smoking)... style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":coffee:" border="0" alt="coffee.gif" />

Always, ALWAYS, ask a woman if she's epileptic BEFORE getting a blow job from her !!!

Just got back from test driving a 5dr DSG variant, very refined, nice engine note, but very poor intial acceleration in 1st from standing, having said that, once rolling the engine is awesome, frugal and with a very smooth torque delivery, I too think that the Polo GTI should have had this engine, would have flown out the dealers, but I still think that the Cupra (new shape) will be the dog's danglies and when it comes down to price, VW are havin' a style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":lol:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

I'd watch out for Firefoxes dodgy Java implementation, at best freezes at worst crashes the browser, I'm mostly using the latest Opera 9.2, has all the advantages of Firefox, but none of the dodgy java problems, hth Tigz..

Had he lost the instructions, illiterate, or was he just plain stupid..... style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":wtf:" border="0" alt="wtf.gif" />

Tried to tax my Stilo online, the previous owner had mot'd the car on his private plate(stupid new computerised mot), so the system kicked me out, had to drive to the local tax office, and got snapped by a poxy dvla tax camera on the way, after a pleasant wait (not)of 2 hrs they finally taxed and issued me with a new MOT, upon questioning the supervisor I was assured that because I was on the way to the tax office and that I'd made several logged calls to Swansea on saturday, I'd have good grounds to challenge any possible conviction/crushing order, and that they have the power to allow 14 days grace on the matter, now I'm just waiting for postie.... style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":angry2:" border="0" alt="angry.gif" /> My point is this, the system for computerised taxation/MOT's only compares MOT number and number plate of the car, not the most important piece of data the VIN which is unique to that vehicle, why can't the dvla/vospa computer databases include ALL relevant data for that car and talk to each other, I changed the registration in April, but received no reminder from the DVLA to tax the vehicle, when I rang the DVLA, Iwas informed that the tax on my vehicle had been refunded in June, but that was for the previous owner's private plate, not the current number plate.... Nobody at Swansea wanted to resolve the issue over the phone, and to get to the local DVLA office required me to take 4 bus trips taking 3hrs, its only 7.5 miles away....Insane doesn't even come close.....

When I were a nipper (9 years old ) a friend and I decided that it would be cool to make some nitrogycerine in his mum's kitchen, we did this and poured small quantities into used starting gun caps, we then figured that the only safe way to detonate them was to use his mum's brand new electric cooker rings, suffice to say that there was the most satisfying bang, but no more rings.. and no more sitting down for a week for both of us and decidedly no more home chemistry experiments (in my case for 9 years when I tried to make amyl nitrate in my mum's kitchen, but that's another story...) The point is that any form of parental discipline seems to be absent in most modern families, and this passes on into society in the form of anti-social behaviour, the fireworks aren't to blame, it's the lack of parental control/discipline that the majority of these events spring from.....

I voted for keeping them available, because I have a soft spot for Mr FFawkes, if only he'd succeded... no Tony Bliar/Gordon Broon/Greenman/Ming the useless lording it over us like ancient feudal lords....

No probs here, I was the person who suggeseted that Damo use the scorpion as I'd already had mine fitted by C&R with no problems, I think that Damo's probs may have come from the fact that it was damaged in transit/fitting, he used an "exhaust specialists", who weren't that special, but Damo could confirm this...

Spotted in Melbourne (derbyshire) M111upo yesterday 4.30pm, anybody on here??

Red Gti spotted by The BBC building 8.30pm, Y2PAY, I was in the Shell garage filling up with optiplop, anybody on here??

Tigz, you of all people should know how to foil these new camera rigs, wear a full face helmet whenever you drive, also makes you feel that every drive is a track day event style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" />, also people will think that you're the Stig style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" /> style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" />

Have you considered Pirelli p-zero neroes? I had exactly the same problem with mytyres, so I went for these instead of toyos, Wheelbase has them here http://www.wheelbasedirect.co.uk/proddetai...Pirelli%2DP6000 and will deliver next day...

I refer you to the lyrics of Taxman (The Beatles), "It's 1 for you, 19 fo Me".... Cliff 'em all that's my attitude to these parasites...

There is a reason for GTi's to run on 97 ron, that's valve damage, talked 'bout this to C&R's main man and he reckons that you can burn out your exhaust valves if you regularly use 95 ron and have a heavy right foot. He's had several cases of Polo GTi's eating their valves, very expensive....

Last Sunday the month but this month they'll be HERE So Who's up for this one??

Allegedly, I'm only going on what was posted on the Club GTi forum, they say taking sandwiches is the only safe option... but the venue has a large carpark and is near to the M1....

So sorry I'm late Muchos Congrats Dude....

How's about combining meets with Club GTi, they have regular meets just off the A610 every month, only advice is DON'T EAT THE FOOD style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":wacko:" border="0" alt="wacko.gif" />

Does this mean that The Tweets will have to rerecord/remix that all time classic "The Birdie song" ?? (Please God No)..

The Guy Ffawkes solution always appealled to me, voting's too long winded, every 5 years, too much waffle invades our TV's, direct action is the only time that politicians really take notice of us regular folks, re poll tax, fuel prices etc...