polio Posted December 10, 2009 Report Share Posted December 10, 2009 My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.I started thrashing about and roared "You don't have enough badges to control me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polio Posted December 10, 2009 Report Share Posted December 10, 2009 If you were given the choice between having your head stamped in by a group of chavs, or going down on Susan Boyle, what shoes would you ask them to wear? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobG Posted December 10, 2009 Report Share Posted December 10, 2009 Remember – drinking alcohol can seriously harm your baby.Especially if you’re in Portugal and can't be arsed to pay for a babysitter. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lupo pete Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 I have just watched the news for the deaf people.The woman doing the sign language gave up after 3 attempts at signing Cockermouth! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IDGM Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 Medical experts are worried about President Obama's mental state.He recently pledged millions of dollars of aid to Northern Ireland following the tragedy of Hurricane Higgins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lupo pete Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 Lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IDGM Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 French foreplay: Dinner, wine, sex!Italian foreplay: Dinner, wine, caressing, sex!Latino foreplay: Dinner, wine, dancing, caressing, sex!Scottish foreplay: "Haw, ye awake?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotty1.4 Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2001gti Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 lol! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobG Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 Police have finally admitted they got it wrong about the shooting of Jean Charles de menezes. It was his naughty brother Dennis they were after. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamiea7x Posted August 19, 2010 Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 Police have finally admitted they got it wrong about the shooting of Jean Charles de menezes. It was his naughty brother Dennis they were after.hahaha belter! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesU Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 I went for an interview for a blacksmith job the other day, when i got there the bloke asked me if i've ever shoed a horse.No, i said, but i've told a donkey to f*ck off... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
williamz Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 whats the worst thing you can call a black person beginning with an N and ending in an R?NeighbouR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IDGM Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 Dave the building site idiot was arrested at the local B&Q for attacking an African woman at the till.Police dropped all charges after he said the Foreman told him to go there and get a Black & Decker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graeme2 Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 from space, pakistan now looks like a bowl of coco pops.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
williamz Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 A Mexican, an Arab, and a hot gorgeous blonde Devon girl are in the same bar.When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces.He says, 'In Mexico, our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'The Arab, obviously impressed by this,Drinks his beer, Throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces.He says,'In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'The blonde Devonshire girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 12 bore, shoots the Mexican and the Arab.Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, calling for a refill, she says,'In England, we have so many illegal immigrants that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
99hjhm Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 A friend of mine just started his own business, manufacturing land mines that look like prayer mats. Apparently Prophets are going through the roof. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
williamz Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 A friend of mine just started his own business, manufacturing land mines that look like prayer mats. Apparently Prophets are going through the roof. LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2001gti Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 A friend of mine just started his own business, manufacturing land mines that look like prayer mats. Apparently Prophets are going through the roof. lol!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YIDDOX46 Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 I got in alot of trouble the other day at the checkout in sainsbury's.Apparently you are not meant to pour water into the bucket's labelled 'Pakistan Flood Appeal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenLAST Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 Row row row your boat, gently down the stream. If you live in Pakistan you'll need a submarine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomjw Posted September 5, 2010 Report Share Posted September 5, 2010 (edited) BP have been asked to help with the aid of the tragic floodings in Pakistan seen as they have the most experience in filtering greasy brown shi t out of the water Edited September 5, 2010 by Tomjw Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
north wales loop Posted September 6, 2010 Report Share Posted September 6, 2010 what did the blondes right knee say to her left knee?nothing they have never met!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
north wales loop Posted September 6, 2010 Report Share Posted September 6, 2010 paddy and murphy were throwing rocks at the floor .... paddy missed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
north wales loop Posted September 6, 2010 Report Share Posted September 6, 2010 What do you call 1000 ni**ers in a fast flowing river?A Blackcurrentwhat do you call 2 black guys in a sleeping bag?twix.what do you call 2 black guys in a sleeping bag goimg down a river?drifter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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