Linz Posted February 21, 2007 Report Share Posted February 21, 2007 My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year...I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poo in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.I no longer eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum.And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up the £5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician. Have a wonderful day!By the way....A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moreno510 Posted February 21, 2007 Report Share Posted February 21, 2007 style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":lol:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" /> style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":lol:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" /> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimlouwa Posted February 21, 2007 Report Share Posted February 21, 2007 Thats brill, cheered me up no end!!!! style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":D" border="0" alt="biggrin.gif" /> x Kim x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitchell Posted February 21, 2007 Report Share Posted February 21, 2007 rofl style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":roflmao:" border="0" alt="roflmao.gif" /> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr P Posted February 21, 2007 Report Share Posted February 21, 2007 style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":thumbup:" border="0" alt="thumbup.gif" /> style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":roflmao:" border="0" alt="roflmao.gif" /> style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":roflmao:" border="0" alt="roflmao.gif" /> style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":roflmao:" border="0" alt="roflmao.gif" /> pmsl that is brilliant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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