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Sarnies


Huw Pugh
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Allow me to tell you a story... I have a friend (Lets call him Jake) who used to work in the local golf club behind the bar. Alongside pulling pints etc he was also in charge of making toasties. Nothing complicated, just the usual, standard combinations. Or perhaps not….

It’s a nice sunny afternoon and the room is full of mildly drunk golfers and for one at least a packet of crisps won’t satisfy his hunger so he orders a toastie and returns to his seat. Jake gets handed the order ticket and goes into the kitchen. Five minutes later reappears, toastie and salad garnish on plate and takes it to the guy who ordered it.

‘Thanks very much’ says the chap and Jake turns and begins to walk back to the bar.

When he gets to about two feet short of the bar, the room is silenced by the guy who ordered the food splitting out the mouthful of toastie he just bit into, grimace on face, followed by the words ‘ Jake what the *** have you put in this’.

Jake turns back around to the guy and very matter of fact says ‘What you ordered Dave….. Cheese and Jam’. Queue the whole room collapsing into bordering-on-cardiac-arrest hysterics, pints being spat out and the lady behind the bar pointing out to Jake, in front of everyone, that what the order actually said was Cheese and Ham.

Now this story, one of the many tragically well-intentioned-but-ultimately-flawed events that make up Jakes life has kept us entertained whenever it’s been brought back up during a bit of pub banter. Why on Earth anybody would want a Cheese and Jam toastie??

Fast forward 8 years, and to our very own elliecjno1, who it seems is one of life’s special people who deliberately makes, and indeed enjoys, the odd Cheese and Jam sarnie.

Now a few hundred years ago there is the a very real possibility that she would have been burnt alive at the stake for such witchcraft, however nowadays we are a little more accepting of different religions/customs/behaviour and perhaps we are ready to accept the Cheese and Jam sarnie/toastie as a plausible alternative to the classics.

Which brings me onto my question, what is the oddest combination of sarnie/toastie/Panini/bagel you have ever made? Did you make it yourself or see it in a slightly dodgy back street baguette shop, was it any good and if not how many nights did you spend in hospital having your stomach pumped?

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well right at this moment in time I am devouring a Salmi Mozzeralla chicken and bacon baguette.

Three of my favourites have to be:

Honey and Marmite

Chocolate Spread/Nutella and Marmite

Cream cheese and Marmite.

Hard to tell what I like isn't it!

Clearly you love it! :lol: But Honey and Marmite.. wtf!!!

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You think cheese and strawberry jam is weird?

Have you tried it?

The summer between sixth form and uni, all I had for lunch, was strawberry jam and grated sandwiches with flamin' hot monster munch!

Cant say I've had them toasted, but can't imagine it being as terrible as you make out!

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One of my brother's mates opened his lunchbox one day and exclaimed "My favourite! A bread sandwich!"

It was a slice of plain white bread in a plain white bun. No butter or anything. :wacko:

That's just plain odd!

I will put Marmite on anything!

I remember a friend eating a Cream cheese and Ketchup sandwich

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heres a weird one for you... for this you will need:

slice of bread x2

Caramel chocolate digestives x3

Cheese (grated)

butter/spread

Another sauce if your into that kind of thing.

Butter the bread, and cut one of the biscuits in half, put one and a half biscuits (chocolate down) onto each slice of buttered bread, then put the grated cheese on top of one of the bread/biscuit bases. You can finish here by putting the other side of bread/biscuit on top of that but i like to add some warm sweet and sour sauce.

consume.enjoy.repeat.

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Fast forward 8 years, and to our very own elliecjno1, who it seems is one of life’s special people who deliberately makes, and indeed enjoys, the odd Cheese and Jam sarnie.

I know you threatened but didnt think you'd actually post about this! :lol: Try it! Theyre awesome!!!

Youve failed to mention the fact you hate everything that isnt plain and are the fussiest eater in the world!!! :P

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I just want to post to say what an excellent intro that was - you should write a book!

I don't generally eat weird combinations... although I've seen Mars Bar sandwiches *on sale*, which baffles me.

Agreed! what a great story teller!

Someone offered me a try of cheese n jam, can't say I was personally impressed. Though my fave weird sarnie would be banana and choc spread :D

Edited by Rattic
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