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So I have decided in the interest of the people that we need to dedicate a thread to @mattarosa. This is that thread. I shall start from today, as previous adventures will require memory recollection, and I’ve had a few gins so that can wait. I have take mattarosa’s virginity. Yes. You read this correctly. I have total control of it. That is, his IKEA virginity. Today, mattarosa drove @danno (who is a p***k) and myself to the metro centre, which is also somewhere he has never been, and we went into ikea. I am pretty sure that this is the best thing to happen to my little Matt since lupo cufflinks. Anywho, he had meatballs, mash and gravy. And I believe in my heart he was satisfied. And oh I also took his Parmo virginity. It’s been a double cherry popping time :) Mattarosa likes to drive 3 and a half hours from his little domain in Leek to the grand county of Durham to visit me! He brings me oatcakes in exchange for a swig of gin, hot food and a bed. No Rich, we do not have strange relations. Yes Pete you’re always welcome. No Martin I haven’t got a cat. Thank you for the amazing times... . Look out for more wild adventures of mattarosa coming soon :) Good evening.